Resurrection from obscurity
I haven't posted in a long time. I started teaching and spending my time doing other things. I have thought a lot about blogging more and putting my research and thoughts about gayness and music out there. So here it goes again.
Ye Olde Gayes
I recently read
an article about how younger gay men and lesbians communicate with older gay
men and lesbians. It was pretty exciting but some of the findings kinda
challenged beliefs I’ve been holding and hopes that I have.
Generational Differences Among Gay Men and Lesbians: Social and Media
Change
David Gudelunas
The first thing that I reacted to strongly is how
both younger gay men and older gay men sought out casual sex. The language they
used was different (Trick v. Hook-up) and the methods (Grindr v. gay bar), but
the fact that promiscuous sex is ubiquitous among the surveyed gay men aged 21-76 struck me in the chest. I don't seek out casual sex. Nor do most
of my gay friends. So the difference here makes me question which group is more
representative of gay male culture in the US. Am I a minority within a minority,
or are these men?
The study’s
findings indicated differing perceptions about the nature (or existence) of a
gay community. The older men seemed to make a point of identifying as gay and
making their lives as connected to other gay men as possible. The younger gay
men seemed to see their gender identity as being one of many identities and
were less inclined to make a gay life for themselves. My first reaction was
that the younger people are more well-adjusted, that they had reconciled their
differences with the larger culture and are seamlessly incorporating their own
unique identities within American culture. But the younger people were not at
all likely to use language that suggests solidarity with other gay people,
while simultaneously calling for social changes to make gayness more accepted.
This dissonance suggests to me that the younger gay people might not have
resolved the difference-conflict, but they instead see themselves as gay outside
of a gay culture.
The article mentions that both the older and younger groups
of gay people lessen a sense of loneliness and isolation by interacting with
other gay people. That is important to understanding how the younger gay people could have that kind of realization, but still not desire purposeful (non-sexual) interaction with other gay people.
The last thing I
want to talk about here is that the study tells us that older gay people reported
more discrimination from younger gay people than from anywhere else. Younger
gay people reported discrimination from political culture. That makes me sad –
that more than political actions that prevent equal marriage, or societal norms
that make hazards work environments, older gay men feel hurt by another group
gay men. I can’t say that I have older gay friends, or that I generally feel
comfortable interacting with older gay men. I don’t know where that prejudice
comes from but it is certainly there. I sang in the NJ Gay Mens' Choir and they
were wonderful musicians. I stopped going to rehearsals because I was the
youngest person there and it was more depressing than anything else – hearing older
gay men discussing how they met their boyfriends during a hook-up. It is the
same discomfort I feel with the younger gay promiscuous men I know. There was
also an element of extreme difference. These men lived very different lives
than I did. Their cultural references were alien to me. No that I think about
it, I’m not so sure that my prejudiced feelings are ageist exactly, possibly
they have more to do with the fact that I am different from them, just like any
other person can be different from another person so they lack a common
experience. Gayness and age may have nothing to do with it.
